Shadow Waltz
by SparkleMoose
Summary: He hadn't wanted to die. He had hoped, with his heart in his throat that he wouldn't die. He had parents, siblings to think about. He had aunts and uncles and cousins. His hope meant nothing in the end. He still died. He just hadn't thought he'd be reborn as Nara Shikamaru of all people.


**Edited 1:21am Oct 29 2017**

* * *

Nara Shikamaru wakes up on the first day of his last year at the Academy and realizes that he has another set of memories in his head. He has memories of a world where he has a smaller family, where he is not training to be a child soldier, and where the technology is so advanced Shikamaru can't help but wonder if it was all a dream.

It is, decidedly, not a dream Shikamaru realizes as goes through his memories and notices that while his facial features and coloring have changed the birthmarks on his body have not. He still has two moles on his left hip. Still has a mole decorating his right middle finger which Shikamaru still thinks makes giving the finger more classy and he still has a round birthmark on his left shoulder.

It's evidence toward the whole reincarnation theory and Shikamaru doesn't like it one bit. Partially because he's a canon character and knows that Asuma and his father will die if Shikamaru doesn't do anything about it, partially because _what the fuck he died_ , and mostly because he really doesn't want to be the reincarnation of some asshole with authority problems.

Authority problems and shinobi generally don't mix.

Troublesome.

"Shikamaru," his mother calls from downstairs, and a warm feeling courses through him. Even if he had died and been reborn at least he has a family that he is certain loves him.

"I'm getting dressed," he calls through the door. It's a not exactly a lie, he intends to get dressed it's just that at the moment he's busy laying in bed bemoaning the fate that had fallen upon him.

He should probably get someone to look through his newly acquired memories and make sure they are legitimate.

Resigning himself to having Inoichi walk through his mind, Shikamaru drags himself out of bed and throws on his canon clothing with a grimace.

He needs new clothes. Past Shikamaru was obviously fashion impaired. Present Shikamaru will not stand for it.

He makes his way downstairs, thankful that he recalls how to move without a sound and sits down at the kitchen table. Directly across from his father.

His mom is humming happily and Shikamaru feels bad for what he's about to do.

"Dad," Shikamaru says seriously, looking his father in the eye, "Is it possible for someone to implant memories in another person?"

The activity in the kitchen pauses. Shikaku takes a sip of water and carefully places the cup back on the table.

"Why do you ask?" Shikaku says, staring at Shikamaru with thinly veiled worry.

Shikamaru pauses, his eyes darting toward his mom who has stopped plating to look at them. He doesn't know how either of them will react to the news, there is a possibility that he'll be towed into T&I and investigated. But he has to have faith in his parents and the allies of their clan. Has to believe that they care about him enough not to cart him off to T&I and that's where the worry comes in, because what if they don't? What if they send him to T&I because they care more for the village than their own son?

Shikamaru is relying on the idea that parents will do anything for their children in order for his plan to work.

He really needs to stop thinking about what could happen. He's made the first move and now he has to carry this plan through to the end.

No matter how much he wants to chicken out.

He steels himself, takes a breath, then speaks.

"I woke up today with memories of being someone else in my head," Shikamaru says, his words hesitant, "While they seem real I think that I should see Inoichi to verify it."

Shikaku's face goes blank, Yoshino's face hardens.

"You're missing school today," his mother tells him before turning to her husband, "Go get Inoichi."

His father is out of his chair before Yoshino finishes her sentence. He disappears in a whirl of leaves and Shikamaru blinks.

That was fast.

Yoshino walks over to where Shikamaru is sitting and takes his face in her hands.

"Tell me what you know," it's a demand and Shikamaru has never been good at denying his parents anything.

He tells her about his (former?) family. He tells her about his passion for art and puzzles and what the world he had been in was like.

He doesn't tell her that all of them are supposed to be fictional characters. He tries to tell her about his death but-

 _He had been held captive for a while. Had endured the abuse of whatever serial killer had managed to grab him and he wanted to live. To see his family again but whoever had grabbed him had other plans._

 _Shikamaru manages to stay alive through the worst of it. His belief that he would see his family, that someone would come for him manages to make ground him through the worst of his fingernails being ripped off and through the being carved into like a pumpkin. He survives until he can't._

 _Until his throat is slit with knife and he bleeds out._

Shikamaru is vaguely aware of his mother calling his name. Of his father returning and he knows that he should be paying attention to what's going on around him but he can't. All he can think of is that he died, that he's dying still, that there is blood running down his shirt and onto the floor and presses on his throat hard enough to cut off his breathing but it doesn't matter as long as it makes the blood stop.

Someone grabs his wrist and pulls it away from his throat and Shikamaru snarls in panic, trying to bring his other arm up to stop the blood. He winds up on the ground with his arms pinned above him and a familiar face staring down at him. He recognizes his father's words, he had been taught them as a grounding technique. Shikaku is repeating his age, his location and his name back to him. He's telling Shikamaru who he is in an attempt to get him out of a panic.

It works. Shikamaru squeezes his eyes shut and and stops struggling.

"What set him off?" he hears Inoichi ask him mom.

"I asked him what he remembered," Yoshino says, "He was fine until he finished telling me what the city he lived in was like," a moment of silence then, "I think he was remembering what he thinks to have been his death."

Shikaku's eyes harden, despite that, his next words are soft.

"Are you alright, son?" Shikaku asks. Shikamaru nods, mind still reeling from the panic attack his memories had thrown him into.

Fuck, he feels pathetic, not even a proper shinobi yet and he's already had a panic attack over something as stupid as a memory. The part of him that lives in the memories argues that dying was as a valid reason for a panic attack as any.

He dismisses it.

"I'm fine," he says, and his father helps him up. Shikamaru gathers up all his courage and looks Inoichi in the eye.

Inoichi is quiet, watching him carefully.

"I'm going to mindwalk you and try to figure out if those memories are real," he explains. Shikamaru nods, he knows that's why Inoichi is here. His plan was a success and he's grateful for it.

"Alright," Shikamaru says, taking a deep breath, "Go for it."

* * *

Shikamaru's mindscape is a library straight out of Harry Potter. There are floating books, crystals scattered about that bring back fond memories of his brother's love for them, and of course, there is a phoenix watching them.

Shikamaru snorts at the obvious symbolism.

He let's Inoichi, explore his mind, digging through stacks of books and holding up crystals to the floating candles that litter the place. Shikamaru himself finds himself engaged in a staring contest with the phoenix.

Shikamaru shields his memories of Naruto from Inoichi and when Inoichi presses against them he sends Inoichi a memory of the first time Shikamaru had had sex in his previous life.

Inoichi leaves those memories alone.

It seems like hours pass before Inoichi returns to him, haggard and looking at Shikamaru with new eyes.

"They're real," Inoichi informs him, and Shikamaru would be surprised at the fact he hadn't had any flashbacks if he hadn't know that Inoichi could shield a person from experiencing them, "Your memories. Your death. All of it is real."

Shikamaru blinks.

Well, he thinks, fuck.

"Fuck," he says out loud, " _Fuck._ "

"Yeah," Inoichi says, "Fuck."

* * *

Inoichi tells his parents everything. That Shikamaru's memories are real. That his experiences are real.

Shikamaru doesn't mind that. It's the suggestion of therapy that he minds. He knows better than to protest though, his scene in the kitchen has proved that he's not exactly handling the whole memories from another life thing well.

Inoichi leaves after swearing to keep what he found a secret.

Shikamaru shifts uncomfortably.

His parents both gaze at him for a moment before Shikaku walks over and pulls him into a hug. Yoshino wraps her arms around both of them.

"You're our son," Yoshino says, her voice firm, "No amount of new memories will change that."

Shikaku makes a noise of agreement.

"Damn straight," he says. Shikamaru has never felt more loved than in that moment, surrounded by his parents and their willingness to anything for him.

Shikamaru buries his face in his father's clothes and breathes in. His father smells like forest and if he embraced his mother she would smell like rain and those are the scents of home. This is his home, this is where he belongs now.

He knows with a certainty, that he will do whatever it takes to ensure his father's survival.

* * *

 **i fought the plot bunny and lost. so here? let me know what you think?**


End file.
